Middle age is a time of life where there’s a lot going on.
Many in midlife are simultaneously responsible for the care of both elderly parents and young children (part of the so-called “sandwich generation”) while also facing the stresses of being mid-career and adjusting to the ways their bodies are changing.
There almost seems to be more to do in the same 24 hours during these years and, in turn, even less time for self-care.
But, unfortunately, skimping on that work of taking care of yourself can become normalized real quick — and it eventually adds up. In fact, the habits we pick up in middle age can have a direct effect on our long-term health and well-being.
In the spirit of longevity, HuffPost spoke to experts about the most common bad habits they see people develop in middle age — and what folks can do to turn things around.
Sorry, bed-rotters! Unfortunately, spending non-sleeping time in bed for too long can mess with your sleep schedule.
Not Prioritizing Good, Restful Sleep
Dr. Ashley Cremona-Simmons, a board-certified family medicine physician and the founder of @DrCSEquityRX, told HuffPost that one of the most harmful things someone in middle age can do is lose sleep. In fact, she sees more patients complaining about the difficulty of getting a good night’s sleep as they approach middle age.
Cremona-Simmons said that patients should try to go to bed at the same time every night, aiming for 7-9 hours of sleep.
There are a few lifestyle changes she recommends to help support that goal: patients should avoid caffeine after morning and turn off screens to wind down before bedtime.
Cremona-Simmons also noted that habits like “bed rotting” can impact sleep too — and recommends that beds should only be used for shut-eye and intimacy.
She points patients to CDC recommendations that “they should look for signs of poor sleep quality.”
“They should tell their doctor if they have issues falling asleep, feel very tired after sleeping or repeatedly wake up during the night,” Cremona-Simmons said. “These could be symptoms of sleep disorders that need further management.”
Nutritional Setbacks
When life gets busy, it can often feel like there isn’t time to pull together a nutritious meal. That’s part of why adequate nutrition is one of the things that can easily fall off your radar in middle age, leading to less-than-great eating habits becoming the norm.
“There are so many recommendations surrounding what equates to adequate nutrition that it can be hard for patients to navigate,” said Cremona-Simmons. “Setting realistic goals increases the chance that the patient will actually meet them.”
Cremona-Simmons noted that maintaining a healthy weight can directly affect a patient’s likelihood of chronic disease in old age. Though genetics and environmental factors come into play, she always recommends a healthy diet for middle-aged patients. After all, it’s one element that they can control.
“I tell my patients to focus on eliminating processed foods as much as possible, focus on a varied diet with a lot of plant sources, and to increase consumption of fiber,” she said. “A diet heavy in plant sources and fermented foods helps maintain a proper gut biome.”
Not Moving Enough Or Moving Inconsistently
The benefits of physical activity are well-known, Cremona-Simmons said, noting that increasing exercise has been shown to improve muscle mass, symptoms of anxiety and depression, lower fasting glucose levels and more.
The CDC recommendation is for adults to aim for 150 minutes or more of moderate aerobic exercise and two days or more of strength training per week. After 65, they should also work on balance and mobility.
“I tell my patients to start with small goals, especially if they are relatively sedentary,” said Cremona-Simmons. “For example, they can start with just increasing their daily steps, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or taking breaks to walk around their office building. The goal is to get moving!”
One of the biggest challenges middle-aged patients face is that they’re kind of at the peak of their lives where there are so many things they have to juggle, that it becomes really easy to push physical health to the side because other things require more immediate attention.
– Anna Di, chiropractor and owner of UNITY Chiropractic Wellness in New York City
Though physical activity is clearly vital for good health, Anna Di, a chiropractor and owner of UNITY Chiropractic Wellness in New York City, told HuffPost that it’s not enough to increase exercise one week and skip it the next. Instead, she said, a healthy movement routine hinges on a schedule.
“One of the biggest challenges middle-aged patients face is that they’re kind of at the peak of their lives, where there are so many things they have to juggle, that it becomes really easy to push physical health to the side because other things require more immediate attention,” said Di. “The budgeting of time to take care of your physical and mental health actually becomes even more important at this stage of life, but a lot of people do not realize that until symptoms start showing up.”
Di said accountability is hugely important when maintaining a consistent workout routine. It’s also important to try a range of movements, exercising different areas of the body.
“You are the doctor for that hour, treating yourself. That time is dedicated to getting better. Use this time to give yourself a good cardio workout, a patient but efficient stretch, or to do a few weight-training exercises,” she said. She added that trying new activities with a partner who can keep you accountable can also help prevent loneliness and, in turn, benefit mental health.
Not Addressing Pain When It Comes Up
Di said one of the worst things a middle-aged patient can do is ignore pain. When specific movements become difficult or painful, it’s not a sign to become less active but to seek out support.
“One analogy I like to use is if you are taking a hammer and hitting your thumb over and over and over, eventually once the hammer is gone, even the tiniest tap against your thumb or grazing the skin becomes extremely sensitive because of all the repetitive trauma that builds up over time,” said Di. “That does not mean you can never use a hammer again. It means you need to coordinate better so you stop hitting your thumb and start hitting the nail on the head.”
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Ignoring or “playing through” the pain when it comes up instead of addressing it can lead to more issues in the long-term.
She says beginning to move in ways that are not painful requires the conscious effort of “learning proper movement patterns, improving coordination, being patient with yourself during movement and sometimes working with specialists who can help guide you.”
“In middle age, sometimes the habits you had when you were younger really start to show. People notice that they are doing the same activities they used to do before, but now they do not recover as quickly, or they start feeling pain doing things that used to feel completely normal,” Di said. “A lot of people also lose confidence in movement because they are afraid of pain or reinjury.”
“But sometimes pain and bad habits happen because you do not yet have the strength, endurance, coordination, or even mental confidence to perform movements properly,” she continued.
Isolation And Loneliness
Though it may be harder to make new friends in middle age, it is still a prime time to form emotionally healthy relationships and build community, as Gwenyth Lloyd and Sarah Burrows, two mental health professionals at the SUNY New Paltz Psychological Counseling Center, told HuffPost.
Old age becomes a bit of a catch-22 when it comes to a social life. It can feel increasingly difficult to make friends out in the wild and to find the time to see the people you already know and love, but supportive relationships also have an increasingly central role in well-being at this age.
“If they have not cultivated those positive, healthy relationships, [people in middle age] can experience an intense sense of isolation,” Burrows said. “Social support is critical.”
The treatment for isolation is simply finding community and connection.
It can be as simple as striking up conversations with people outside or deeper, like building reliable social networks around things you care about, Lloyd noted, emphasizing how her own faith community created that space for her.
“Whether it’s at church, the community center, no man is an island,” Lloyd said. “We all need that stimulation. We all need to feel loved, to feel accepted.”
Substance Abuse
Lloyd said addictive behaviors can have a detrimental effect on mental health. In fact, substance abuse is considered a co-occurring disorder because of the way it affects the well-being of addicted people.
Overindulging in things like drugs, alcohol and even sex can cause patients to abandon the healthy and stable routines that actually benefit their mental and physical health.
It doesn’t help that things like alcohol just hit your body differently— with many people losing the enzyme that helps us metabolize alcohol (alcohol dehydrogenase) as we get older.
Yuliia Kaveshnikova via Getty Images
Excessive drinking, drug use or other less-than-healthy coping mechanisms require more attention (and intention) as you age.
Developing A Negative Inner Voice
Most of us don’t consider the way we talk to and about ourselves when we’re thinking about health, but our outward behaviors are generally a manifestation of what’s happening inside.
And hopelessness begins when we are mean to ourselves, according to Burrows and Lloyd.
“Another bad habit can be how you think. Having a very negative outlook on life, a pessimistic and a very self-critical attitude, internally shaming, guilting, berating yourself, leads to depression and withdrawal, and even fear of connecting with others,” Burrows said.
Negative self-talk can be the result of trauma or family dynamics that were never addressed developmentally or in therapy, Lloyd notes. It results in poor interpersonal relationships, cycles of anger and, ultimately, a diminished quality of life.
But Burrows and Lloyd say cultivating more positive attitudes is something that can be developed at any age.
“The prescription is laugh heartily, smile regularly, and say hello to the world,” Lloyd said.
