Name: Quadrobics.
Age: New and sprightly.
Quadrobics? That’s got to be a workout for your quads – short for quadriceps femoris, the group of muscles at the front of your thighs. Am I right? Actually no, you’re not. Well, it probably helps them, but not exclusively.
Exercise in the courtyard, or a university perhaps? Or on a quad bike? Nice try, wrong again. You are right about quad meaning four, though.
Four what? Four legs.
But last time I looked I only had two. Then perhaps you need to look inside yourself to find a couple more.
Inner legs? I just don’t think there are any. You’re thinking too literally. It’s about unleashing your inner beast.
Oh! Yikes, is this about … No! Before you even mention the F word, quadrobics practitioners insist they are not part of the furry community. No funny business; we’re talking about running and jumping on all fours.
Are masks involved? They can be, although they’re not essential. A TikToker who goes by the name of Soleil told the New York Post that wearing one “definitely makes you feel like an animalistic spirit”.
What mask does she wear? A cat one, usually. Though, actually, she says she feels more connected to wild goats.
Does she butt? No! Again, it’s not about pretending to be an animal: quadrobics is about exercising to mimic animal movement, including walking, trotting and jumping.
Yeah, but why? To push physical limits in order to improve coordination, balance and strength. “It’s definitely a full-body workout,” said Soleil. “I’ve lost a lot of weight since I started doing it, and I really see the definition in my body. I started getting a six-pack. Try it for five minutes and you will be out of breath.”
Sounds like a lot of nonsense? Jarrod Nobbe also says that quadrobics is a good full-body workout.
Who’s he? He’s a sports performance trainer and weightlifting coach. “You’re constantly engaging your abdominals, obliques and deep stabilisers (like the transversus abdominis) to support your spine and stay balanced,” he told the New York Post in the same article.
Can’t I do that without pretending to be a mustang? Yes. But Nobbe goes on to explain that “primal movement, animal flow and similar practices are gaining traction because people are craving more functional, holistic and playful ways to move”.
And I guess I don’t need a gym membership! Cancel it now, and head into the forest …
Do say: “It’s hot to trot!”
Don’t say: “OK, I’ll give it a go, but I’m going to be a three-toed sloth …”
