Key Takeaways
- Research studies have found that partners who sleep next to each other tend to experience better sleep, greater intimacy, and improved mental health.
- If you face challenges getting a good night’s rest next to your partner, focus on creating a comfortable sleep environment, developing a good bedtime routine, and talking to your partner about how you can both sleep better together.
Sleeping next to your partner can be comforting, but experts suggest it can also be good for your mental health, sleep quality, and relationship. Co-sleeping with a romantic partner is associated with less stress, lower levels of depression and anxiety, better sleep quality, and increased intimacy.
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Mental Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Your Partner
According to Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, sleeping next to your partner can benefit your mental health in many ways, including deepening your physical, emotional, and spiritual connection.
A 2022 study published in the journal Sleep concluded that sleeping next to your partner can offer several benefits for your mental health, including:
- Lower levels of depression
- Lower levels of anxiety
- Lower levels of stress
- Lower risk of sleep apnea
- Reduced severity of insomnia
- Greater social support
- Higher satisfaction with life and relationships
Dr. Romanoff explains that poor quality sleep is one of the main symptoms of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. “Since sleeping next to a partner promotes better sleep, it reduces that symptom and, in turn, improves the disorder,” she says.
Why You Might Sleep Better With a Partner
These are some of the ways that sleeping next to your partner can improve the quality of your sleep, according to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.
- Improved sleep duration and efficiency: Research shows us that sleeping next to a partner is linked to increased sleep duration, higher sleep efficiency, and better sleep quality overall. Getting a good night’s sleep helps reduce stress and boosts restorative functions.
- More REM sleep: A 2020 study found that sleeping next to a partner is associated with 10% more rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. The REM stage of sleep, which is where most dreams occur, is critical for cognitive functions such as learning and remembering.
- Shorter time taken to fall asleep: Research has found that partners are more likely to fall asleep faster when they sleep next to each other. The time taken to fall asleep is known as sleep latency, and shorter sleep latency is associated with better sleep efficiency.
From an evolutionary perspective, we are most vulnerable to attack when we are sleeping at night, so there is safety in numbers, Dr. Romanoff explains. “Therefore, you may subconsciously feel more safe and protected when you’re sleeping next to your partner than when you’re alone, which can help you sleep better.”
Getting a good night’s sleep is important for your health and well-being. Not sleeping well can negatively affect your immunity, heart health, weight, memory, learning ability, and reaction time, among other things.
How Sleeping Together Can Deepen Your Bond
Below, de Llano describes some of the ways sleeping next to your partner can improve the physical, emotional, and spiritual connection between the two of you and increase intimacy in your relationship.
Physical Intimacy
Sleeping next to your partner not only enables sexual intimacy, but also promotes physical intimacy in the form of hugging, cuddling, kissing, and holding hands.
In fact, a research study with 778 participants found that the physical and sexual intimacy caused by sleeping next to a partner triggers the release of the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin not only promotes better sleep, but it also reduces stress and promotes bonding.
Emotional Intimacy
Sleeping next to your partner offers an opportunity for you and your partner to share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and perspectives with each other in a safe space, thereby bringing you closer together.
In fact, research suggests that sleeping next to a partner helps improve emotional intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
Spiritual Intimacy
Sleeping in the same bed can be a spiritual experience for many couples. Apart from feeling closer to your partner, the shared experience can also help you be more in sync with each other on a physiological and spiritual level.
Research has found that partners’ heartbeats sync up when they sleep next to each other—heartbeats are electrical pulses and when you sleep next to your partner, they are transmitted to them via faint vibrations.
Tips for Getting Better Sleep Together
Sleeping next to a partner doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll all be smooth sailing. For instance, your partner may snore loudly, kick or fidget, talk in their sleep, experience nightmares, hog the covers, move often during the night, watch television until late, keep their phone on loud, or prefer different sleeping temperatures, says Dr. Romanoff.
If you’re struggling to get a good night’s rest next to your partner, here are a few ways to make your nights more comfortable and soothing.
- Upgrade your bedding: Consider a larger bed, a cooling mattress, or even separate blankets to ensure each person’s comfort.
- Use a white noise machine: Some soothing background sound can block out disruptive sounds.
- Create a bedtime routine: Even if you have different sleep schedules, look for ways to wind down from the day together to help synchronize your rhythms.
- Try an (occasional) sleep divorce: If you’re struggling to get used to co-sleeping, consider sleeping separately once in a while or on rough nights.
- Talk about sleep issues: It’s normal to have some challenges, especially at the beginning. Discussing your concerns and needs ensures that you can find a solution that works for both of you.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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