Key Takeaways
- Self-reflection helps you understand who you are and what you believe in.
- Engaging in this process is important for personal growth and improving yourself.
- Self-reflection can boost self-awareness, which helps you understand your emotions.
How well do you know yourself? Do you think about why you do the things you do? Self-reflection is one way to learn more about yourself and what matters to you. It’s all about stepping back and checking in with yourself so you can think about how you’re feeling and why you reacted a certain way.
Self-reflection involves being present with yourself and intentionally focusing your attention inward to examine your thoughts, feelings, actions, and motivations, says Angeleena Francis, LMHC, executive director for AMFM Healthcare.
Active self-reflection can help grow your understanding of who you are, what values you believe in, and why you think and act the way you do, says Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT, chief experience officer for Newport Healthcare.
Below, we’ll explore the benefits and importance of self-reflection and some strategies for practicing it and incorporating it into your daily life. We’ll also discuss when self-reflection can become unhealthy and suggest some coping strategies.
Why Is Self-Reflection So Important?
There are times in life when it feels like we are coasting along on autopilot. We might find ourselves going through the motions without really thinking about what we are doing, why we’re doing it, and how we actually feel about it.
Self-reflection is important because it helps you form a self-concept and contributes to self-development. It helps us break away from the daily grind so we can slow down, process our experiences, and make sense of what we are feeling.
Builds Your Self-Concept
Self-reflection is critical because it contributes to your self-concept, which is an important part of your identity.
Your self-concept includes your thoughts about your traits, abilities, beliefs, values, roles, and relationships. It influences your mood, judgment, and behavioral patterns.
Reflecting inward allows you to know yourself and continue to get to know yourself as you change and develop as a person, says Francis. It helps you understand and strengthen your self-concept as you evolve with time.
Enables Self-Development
Self-reflection also plays a key role in self-development. “It is a required skill for personal growth,” says Wilson.
Being able to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, or what you did right or wrong, can help you identify areas for growth and improvement so that you can work on them.
For instance, say you gave a presentation at school or work that didn’t go well, despite putting in a lot of work on the project. Spending a little time on self-reflection can help you understand that even though you spent a lot of time working on the project and creating the presentation materials, you didn’t practice giving the presentation.
Realizing the problem can help you correct it. So, the next time you have to give a presentation, you can practice it on your colleagues or loved ones first.
Or, say you’ve just broken up with your partner. While it’s easy to blame them for everything that went wrong, self-reflection can help you understand what behaviors of yours contributed to the split. Being mindful of these behaviors can be helpful in other relationships.
Without self-reflection, you would continue to do what you’ve always done, and, as a result, you may continue to face the same problems you’ve always faced.
Benefits of Self-Reflection
Reflecting on your thoughts and experiences can have a big impact on your mental and emotional and mental well-being. Because it allows you to make sense of your inner life, you are better equipped to find the sort of clarity that can lead to real, lasting changes in your daily life.
Experts suggest that self-reflection can have a range of benefits, including:
Increased Self-Awareness
Wilson says that spending time in self-reflection can help build greater self-awareness. Self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence. It helps you recognize and understand your own emotions, as well as the impact of your emotions on your thoughts and behaviors.
Greater Sense of Control
Self-reflection involves practicing mindfulness and being present with yourself at the moment. This can help you feel more grounded and in control of yourself, says Francis.
Improved Communication Skills
Self-reflection can help you improve your communication skills, which can benefit your relationships. Understanding what you’re feeling can help you express yourself clearly, honestly, and empathetically.
Deeper Alignment With Core Values
Self-reflection can help you understand what you believe in and why. This can help ensure that your words and actions are more aligned with your core values, Wilson explains. It can also help reduce cognitive dissonance, which is the discomfort you may experience when your behavior doesn’t align with your values, says Francis.
Better Decision-Making Skills
Self-reflection can help you make better decisions for yourself, says Wilson. Understanding yourself better can help you evaluate all your options and how they will impact you with more clarity. This can help you make sound decisions that you’re more comfortable with, says Francis.
Greater Accountability
Self-reflection can help you hold yourself accountable to yourself, says Francis. It can help you evaluate your actions and recognize personal responsibility. It can also help you hold yourself accountable for the goals you’re working toward.
When Self-Reflection Becomes Unhealthy
Self-reflection is a healthy practice that is important for mental well-being. However, it can become harmful if it turns into rumination, self-criticism, self-judgment, negative self-talk, and comparison to others, Wilson suggests.
Here’s what that could look like:
- Rumination: Experiencing excessive and repetitive stressful or negative thoughts. Rumination is often obsessive and interferes with other types of mental activity.
- Self-judgment: Constantly judging yourself and often finding yourself lacking.
- Negative self-talk: Allowing the voice inside your head to discourage you from doing things you want to do. Negative self-talk is often self-defeating.
- Self-criticism: Constantly criticizing your actions and decisions.
- Comparison: Endlessly comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior.
Kristin Wilson, LPC, CCTP
Looking inward may activate your inner critic, but true self-reflection comes from a place of neutrality and non-judgment.
— Kristin Wilson, LPC, CCTP
When anxious thoughts and feelings come up in self-reflection, Wilson says it’s important to practice self-compassion and redirect your focus to actionable insights that can propel your life forward. “We all have faults and room for improvement. Reflect on the behaviors or actions you want to change and take steps to do so.”
It can help to think of what you would say to a friend in a similar situation. For instance, if your friend said they were worried about the status of their job after they gave a presentation that didn’t go well, you would probably be kind to them, tell them not to worry, and to focus on improving their presentation skills in the future. Apply the same compassion to yourself and focus on what you can control.
If you are unable to calm your mind of racing or negative thoughts, Francis recommends seeking support from a trusted person in your life or a mental health professional. “Patterns of negative self-talk, self-doubt, or criticism should be addressed through professional support, as negative cognitions of oneself can lead to symptoms of depression if not resolved.”
How to Practice Self-Reflection
While self-reflection comes easy for some people, it may require a bit of effort and practice for others. The good news? You can learn how to engage in productive self-reflection that boosts self-knowledge without dipping into rumination.
Wilson suggests some strategies that can help you practice healthy self-reflection:
Ask Yourself Open-Ended Questions
Start off by asking yourself open-ended questions that will prompt self-reflection, such as:
- “Am I doing what makes me happy?”
- “Are there things I’d like to improve about myself?”
- “What could I have done differently today?”
- “Am I taking anything or anyone for granted?”
Notice what thoughts and feelings arise within you for each question, and then begin to think about why. Be curious about yourself and be open to whatever comes up.
Keep a Journal
Journaling your thoughts and responses to these questions is an excellent vehicle for self-expression. It can be helpful to look back at your responses, read how you handled things in the past, assess the outcome, and look for where you might make changes in the future.
Try Meditation
Meditation can also be a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth. Even if it’s only for five minutes, practice sitting in silence and paying attention to what comes up for you. Notice which thoughts are fleeting and which come up more often.
Process Major Events and Emotions
When something happens in your life that makes you feel especially good or bad, take the time to reflect on what occurred, how it made you feel, and either how you can get to that feeling again or what you might do differently the next time. Writing down your thoughts in a journal can help.
Make a Self-Reflection Board
Create a self-reflection board of positive attributes that you add to regularly. Celebrate your authentic self and the ways you stay true to who you are. Having a visual representation of self-reflection can be motivating.
What to Do If Self-Reflection Makes You Uncomfortable
You may avoid self-reflection if it brings up difficult emotions and makes you feel uncomfortable, says Francis. She recommends preparing yourself to get comfortable with the uncomfortable before you start.
Think of your time in self-reflection as a safe space within yourself. “Avoid judging yourself while you explore your inner thoughts, feelings, and motives of behavior,” Francis says. Simply notice what comes up and accept it. Instead of focusing on fears, worries, or regrets, try to look for areas of growth and improvement.
Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT
Practice neutrality and self-compassion so that self-reflection is a positive experience that you will want to do regularly.
— Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT
Incorporating Self-Reflection Into Your Routine
Francis suggests some strategies that can help you incorporate self-reflection into your daily routine:
- Dedicate time to it: It’s important to dedicate time to self-reflection and build it into your routine. Find a slot that works for your schedule—it could be five minutes each morning while drinking coffee or 30 minutes sitting outside in nature once per week.
- Pick a quiet spot: It can be hard to focus inward if your environment is busy or chaotic. Choose a calm and quiet space that is free of distractions so you can hear your own thoughts.
- Pay attention to your senses: Pay attention to your senses. Sensory input is an important component of self-awareness.
