We here at Serious Eats have a lot of cooking experience, including quite a bit of time spent in professional kitchens as chefs, line cooks, and bakers. But there are still plenty of kitchen tasks that set us trembling. So, just in time for Halloween, here are the nine meal-prep and cooking chores we fear the most. And none of them are carving a pumpkin.
Using a Mandoline
This one topped the list for Daniel, Leah, and me. The horror, indeed.
“Blood, carnage, and terror: Using a mandoline has all the makings of a great horror movie. Every chef I know bears at least one faint scar as evidence. My worst kitchen injuries didn’t come from knives or open flames, they came from that tiny plastic guillotine. It’s literally designed for decapitation, just scaled down for produce.” —Leah Colins, senior culinary editor
“I have recurring intrusive thoughts about accidentally blending my hand—the image pops into my head in unexpected moments and I shudder. When people ask what’s wrong, I lie, because it’s a bit much to explain my waking nightmare of pulverizing my hand in a grotesque cyclone of gore. But that’s not what really scares me in the kitchen. That honor belongs to a mandoline, a tool that in all my (many) professional years of cooking I never managed to find comfort with. I watch other cooks deftly slide their food across the blade, their hand on top with no safety guard to keep their flesh protected. They run the food right down to the last, thinnest slice, then move along as if they didn’t come within a millimeter of peeling their palm skin, fingerprints and all, right into the pile of paper-thin potatoes for chips. Oof, I just can’t.” —Daniel Gritzer, editorial director
Cutting Avocados
“One of my first tasks as a line cook was to cut avocados for a salad. One hectic night, I moved too fast and sliced my hand open—it was a total bloodbath and I probably should have gone to the ER. I’ve learned a lot since then (like this technique), but cutting avocados still puts me on edge!” —Elizabeth Laseter, manager, growth and content strategy
Grating Cheese on a Box Grater
“It’s not just the risk of grated fingers—though one distracted moment could easily turn Pecorino into a bloodied offering. I just find grating cheese dreadful. It takes forever, and it’s messy. It’s the one job I almost always pass off to whoever offers help in the kitchen. If I spot a box grater and a hunk of cheese, you can be sure I’ll vanish like a ghost.” —Laila Ibrahim, associate culinary editor
Using a Pressure Cooker
“In general, I’m a lot more chicken than most of my colleagues—especially those who’ve spent time in restaurant kitchens, where it seems commonplace to stick your hand into boiling water and tolerate a million tiny burns from splattering oil. Along with the mandoline (my number one fear), the pressure cooker is a tool that makes me very nervous. Whether it’s an old-fashioned stovetop model or a newfangled version like an Instant Pot, when I see a pressure cooker, I just imagine an explosion of steam and stew in my face. I’m happy to report that I’ve come a long way in facing these fears, thanks to testing pressure cooker recipes a few years ago—without any carnage. But when given the option, I’ll always choose a slow braise in the oven or on the stovetop over the convenience of pressure cooking.” —Megan O. Steintrager, associate editorial director
Roasting a Whole Duck
A whole roast duck is a showstopper, but it’s also a lot of work and can go horribly wrong (greasy, tough meat, ick!). I prefer to just get my roast duck at the local Asian market. –Grace Kelly, senior editor
Deveining Shrimp
“OK, I am not afraid of deveining shrimp, but I do find it a tedious task. I like to keep my shrimp as intact as possible, which means carefully extracting the vein with a toothpick or tweezers. My shoulders hurt just thinking about this!” —Genevieve Yam, senior editor
Cooking Meat Without a Thermometer
“I never ever cook meat without my trusty instant-read thermometer. It gives an accurate temperature in one second, and ensures my steaks are never overcooked and my chicken is never undercooked. I shudder to think about making grilled chicken thighs without one.” —Rochelle Bilow, editor
Making Cacio e Pepe
“Not many dishes scare me, but the thought of tossing yet another of my gloopy, separated attempts at cacio e pepe fills me with dread. No matter how hard I try to moderate my heat, how freshly I grate my pecorino, or how vigorously I mix, I’ve never gotten the traditional method right. Luckily, Daniel recently shared his perfect cacio e pepe recipe, which uses a science-backed cornstarch slurry to stabilize the sauce. I think it’s given me the bravery I need to try again.”—Ashlee Redger, writer
Polishing Glasses
“During my time working as a server, I handled plenty of side work that pushed my limits, but none scares me quite like polishing glasses. After a hot martini glass shattered in my hand and left me with a deep cut, I’ve avoided the task ever since. Now that I’m no longer in restaurants, I’ve accepted my home will never have sparkling glassware. If you ever have dinner at my place, expect fingerprints and good company instead.” –Sadie Schulte, newsletter editor
