Grace J. couldn’t have predicted what would happen to her life when she took a break from social media to support her partner, but she was delighted by the result.
“His therapist recommended less screen time to help his insomnia,” she said. Gradually, the pair started connecting more intimately. “We cuddled more, talked more … and two weeks in, we had sex for the first time in almost a year.”
Experts agree that while social media can enhance your sex life by providing valuable information, the downsides are worth avoiding. “Many people think social media is a harmless distraction, but it subtly rewires how we connect, regulate our emotions, and value ourselves, and that ripple effect will show up in the bedroom,” said Holly Nelson, a certified EMDR therapist who specializes in overcoming sexual anxiety and shame.
Research highlights reasons people like Grace and her partner glean perks from stepping away from the digital platforms. A 2024 study linked heavy social media use with an increased risk of vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction and low libido.
Guido Mieth via Getty Images
It’s all too easy to compare yourself to others when you’re scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.
Here’s a look at ways social media use can wreak havoc on your sex life, plus expert tips for turning it all around. Social media can exacerbate:
1. Low Self-Esteem
It’s all too easy to compare yourself to others when you’re scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. Such comparison is human nature, according to Mindy DeSeta, a sexologist and sexuality educator at the dating app Hily. The problem is, she said, “When we compare ourselves to a snapshot of another person’s life, we always come out on the bottom.” And when you feel blah about yourself or your relationships, you’re likely to feel depressed about sex, too.
“Sex is between the ears, not just the legs,” DeSeta said. “If we are experiencing low self-esteem, self-doubt or anxiety, we are at risk for sexual dysfunction or not desiring sex at all.”
2. Poor Body Image
If you’ve ever groaned at your reflection after scrolling social media, you’re far from alone. Fitspiration-type posts, in particular, aimed at things like muscle tone and diet trends, contribute to body dissatisfaction and disordered eating — factors that disrupt sexual arousal and pleasure.
“The perfectly curated social media feeds prompt our brain to create an elaborate story behind each photo and twist our perception of what ‘sexy’ looks like, making us give up our authenticity,” DeSeta said, even if we know that those images have been edited. “We still want to look and feel as sexy as the filtered model in the viral photos.”
Beyond reduced sexual desire, poor body image is linked with orgasm difficulties during partnered and solo sex.
3. Little Time For Intimacy
By conservative estimates, adults spend nearly 2.5 hours per day on social media. Add that to whatever time you spend on work, hygiene and other obligations, and you may not have time for intimacy.
Many couples spend more time in bed gazing at screens than each other, according to Nelson.
“If you are on your phone when you could be spending genuine time with your partner, you are sending them a direct message that you prefer the phone over them,” she said. “This choice leads the other people to feel rejected, and a couple can start to become emotionally distant.”
4. Emotional Reactivity
After catching up on your socials, you may find yourself snapping at, rather than communicating with, your partner. Even having your smartphone nearby has been linked with heightened emotional reactivity and difficulty processing information. Add to that the polarized opinions and frightening headlines that rise to the top of social media feeds and you may feel especially heated — and not in an “oh, baby” type way.
“Social media, by design, inspires high emotional reactivity,” DeSeta said. “If you are already emotionally charged from what you saw while scrolling, your libido will naturally decrease.”
5. Stress And Exhaustion
Plentiful social media use can interfere with sleep, which increases stress levels. Sleep loss and stress fuel sexual dysfunction.
“Doom scrolling and digital overstimulation can hijack the brain’s reward system, making real-life intimacy feel less novel or exciting and draining your energy and time entirely, even to create space to be in the mood to have sex,” Nelson said.
Grace and her partner have gotten along better since their digital detox began. “I feel like we’re stressing out less in general,” she added. “I think that’s why we both get turned on faster and at all.” She said they’re sleeping better, too.
Improving Your Sex Life In The Digital Age
You don’t have to give up social media to ease related sexual challenges. Even if you stay fairly immersed in the platforms, shifting your approach can help.
Nelson recommends avoiding screen time for at least one hour before bed. Instead, she said, “replace scrolling with intimate pleasure rituals.” Take a soothing bath, for example, or give each other massages.
To improve your body image, shift what you see online. “Follow accounts that promote consent, sex positivity [and] body neutrality,” Nelson said. “Reset your algorithm and curate your feed to include diverse, body-neutral creators who celebrate all shapes, sizes and identities.” Doing so challenges unrealistic body standards and normalizes real bodies, she said. When you’re offline, she suggests appreciating your body for what it can do, such as breathe, walk and hug, versus what it looks like.
To shift from tense to sex-ready after scrolling, prioritize R&R. “Simple grounding exercises, like deep belly breathing and gentle movement, like restorative yoga, can help release tension and overstimulation from social media,” Nelson explained.
Meanwhile, cultivate positive self-esteem in general. “Self-esteem is the secret ingredient to incredible intimacy,” DeSeta said. “When you genuinely feel desirable and confident, while being true to yourself, everything changes.” Helpful steps might include increasing self-care, setting realistic goals, engaging in meaningful hobbies and challenging negative thoughts.
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If you’re really struggling in terms of your social media use and sexual well-being, seek support from a qualified professional, if you’re able. “If social media is constantly leaving you feeling inadequate, disconnected from your body or afraid of sexual intimacy,” Nelson suggested, “it may be time to seek help.”
