Key Takeaways
- Saying “I’m sorry” helps you earn and keep respect by taking accountability.
- Clearly stating “This violates my boundaries” maintains your mental health by ensuring boundaries are respected.
- “I Need Time to Think About This Decision” gives you space and shows you take decisions seriously.
Aretha Franklin sang it best. “R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.” But what does respect mean to you? And how does it impact the way you see yourself and others?
“Respect is crucial for interpersonal relations as it improves self-worth and facilitates understanding. Respect from other people confirms [one’s] worth and enhances good self-views. This is vital to maintain peace and assurance in oneself in both private and business spheres,” explains Sean O’Neill, LMFT, clinical director of Maple Moon Recovery.
Just as respect can help build you up, a lack of respect can tear you down. Disrespect can cause feelings of hurt, anger, embarrassment, low self-esteem, and frustration. About 25% of U.S. workers say they feel colleagues are rude or disrespectful to them. And it doesn’t just happen at work; disrespect can permeate all areas of your life.
Sean O’Neill, LMFT
Respect is crucial for interpersonal relations as it improves self-worth and facilitates understanding.
— Sean O’Neill, LMFT
Here are 15 responses that can cause people to sit up, take notice, and give you the respect you deserve.
I’m Sorry.
An apology may not be the first thing that comes to mind to help you garner respect from others. But it does just that in its own powerful way. “This one is simple and often overlooked. Taking accountability is a great way [to] earn and keep respect,” notes Jillian Amodio, LMSW, a therapist at Waypoint Wellness Center and founder of Moms For Mental Health.
Please Allow Me to Finish What I Was Saying.
When you are dealing with someone who frequently interrupts you, or talks over you, a firm statement can help them respect the fact that you have the floor.
I Am Not Comfortable With This Topic or Action.
Clearly stating that something bothers you lets the other person know that you don’t agree with the activity or action, and that you are separating yourself from it. It also allows you to own your feelings and feel comfortable stating them.
Thank You for Sharing Your Perspective. Now Allow Me to Share Mine.
“This … acknowledges others while asserting your own viewpoint. It demonstrates emotional intelligence and creates a collaborative tone while maintaining your position,” says Jennifer Maxson, President of Jennifer Maxson & Associates.
I Need Time to Think About This Decision
This statement gives you room to breathe when deciding while letting others know that they need to respect your thought process and not rush you. “[Stepping] away to assess the facts of a situation tells people that you are not taking things lightly and want to consider it properly,” states Amodio.
This Violates My Boundaries.
Boundaries are a critical part of commanding and receiving respect. When others attempt to push the limits of what you will accept, it’s important to remind them that you have set boundaries for your mental health, and those boundaries deserve to be honored.
“When others mistreat you, point it out. Do it [by] describing factually what they did: ‘You’re raising your voice. That doesn’t work for me. Would you please lower your voice, or should we continue this later?’,” explains Joseph Grenny, co-founder of Crucial Learning.
This Is What I Expect From You.
Whether you’re speaking to a co-worker, your child, or a significant other, this phrase brings clarity, focus, and mutual understanding. Clear expectations instill confidence in both parties and allows the other person to respect your wants and needs.
I’m Unable to Commit to That.
Overcommitting gives others control of your time. It also can lead to stress, fatigue, and anxiety. But being able to clearly state that you don’t have time for a particular activity allows others to respect your time constraints.
Can You Explain Your Reasoning to Me?
“This phrase invites dialogue while subtly establishing your authority to evaluate others’ thinking. It shows respect while maintaining your position of leadership,” Maxson says.
I Appreciate Your Understanding.
“In recognition of someone’s willingness to wait, it elevates goodwill and shows that there is appreciation of efforts thereby improving the relationship between the people. Such appreciation earns trust, enables them to keep working together, and creates a more agreeable and tolerant environment,” notes O’Neill.
I Will Let You Know if I Need Your Help.
A person may offer to help you or even take over a task you are trying to complete. This simple phrase lets them know that you can handle the job at hand, and to give you the space to do so.
Let’s Concentrate on the Things That Are in Our Control.
“This shows pragmatic leadership and emotional maturity. It redirects energy toward productive solutions rather than complaints,” Maxson states.
It Was My Fault.
Owning up to your mistakes shows maturity and integrity. It also shows leadership, and people will respect your ability to own up to your actions instead of trying to pass the buck onto someone else.
Don’t Dismiss What I’m Saying.
Laughing at the thoughts you express is a way of dismissing them. Instead of shrinking back and acting as though what you had to say is not important, counter the laughter with a firm statement to help validate your feelings.
No.
“No” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain yourself or respond to questions that you are uncomfortable answering. No means no. And others need to respect that.
Other Ways to Garner Respect
Even when you use the right words confidently, some people still may not respect you. You may have to take extra steps to make the relationship work for you. That could include limiting contact, looping others into any conversations you have with them, or even choosing to sever the relationship altogether. Ultimately, ensuring you are respected strengthens you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
“Remember that walking away from disrespectful treatment isn’t giving up — it’s a powerful form of self-respect that demonstrates you value yourself enough to enforce your boundaries. By taking care of yourself in this way, you also model healthy boundary-setting for others and contribute to a culture that doesn’t tolerate disrespect,” concludes Maxson.
