If you’re a woman who used to doze off easily on, say, a friend’s half-functional air mattress or a hookup’s couch, you might be struck by how elusive sleep can be if you’re now in your late 30s. What once was the thing you simply needed to carve out time for becomes something you can only access with a curated bedtime ritual, a supplement, and a prayer—if that.
The truth is, women of all ages tend to struggle more with sleep than men because of “fluctuations in the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone, starting as early as puberty and until the end of time,” Saema Tahir, MD, a New York City–based sleep medicine, critical care, and pulmonary disease specialist, tells SELF. Research suggests insomnia is up to twice as common in women versus men, and women are twice as likely as men to say they don’t wake up feeling rested. But there’s also a meaningful spike in sleep difficulties for women in their late 30s and early 40s, Dr. Tahir notes, as various factors driving hormone shifts can collide with lifestyle changes that put sleep further out of reach.
Below, experts break down common reasons why you might face new sleep hurdles in your late 30s and how to get back on track.
1. You’re postpartum or have young kids at home.
Pregnancy is well-known to be rough on sleep—the constant need to pee, the baby walloping your insides—but things can get worse postpartum, and not just because of the baby’s needs. Yes, you might be breaking up your sleep to breastfeed or pump in those first few weeks to months, but you’re also undergoing a massive hormonal change.
Estrogen and progesterone drop off abruptly post-childbirth, Dr. Tahir says. “Estrogen helps stabilize our sleep, improving deep sleep and REM sleep, and plays a role in regulating our circadian rhythm,” she explains. “And progesterone works on GABA, which is a neurotransmitter that makes us sedated.” So the major dip in both can leave you tossing and turning, she explains. It can take several months for the impact of this change to wear off, and if you choose to breastfeed, sleep can remain wonky throughout this time (and during weaning), as lactation keeps estrogen and progesterone levels low.
And then there’s the newfound stressors of parenthood. Moms often become hypervigilant of any indicators in their environment that their child needs help, which can make it tough to fall or stay asleep, Shelby Harris, PsyD, DBSM, a clinical psychologist and author of The Women’s Guide To Overcoming Insomnia, tells SELF. It’s no wonder more than half of mothers aged 25 to 44 sleep fewer than seven hours a night.
