Key Takeaways
- Burnout in high performers is often subtle and silent and can occur when you push through chronic emotional strain.
- You may feel exhausted, emotionally flattened, consumed by work or your to-do list, and fearful of failure.
- To find some reprieve, experts recommend stepping away from your to-do list, reassessing your work and life priorities, and scheduling in time for yourself.
You’re the one who always gets it done. The one who color-codes calendars for funsies, takes on that last-minute assignment and nails it, and volunteers to handle whatever task is thrown your way.
You earn recognition for most of it—it’s who you are, and people love you for it. Then, one day, you sit down for a second and realize… Wow. I am so tired. And perhaps, when your plate is really full, your “unstoppable” nature comes to a screeching halt. Your brain feels foggy, your motivation has flatlined, and even rest doesn’t feel quite so restful anymore.
This, my friend, is burnout.
What Is Burnout?
Burnout is when you’re emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and overwhelmed due to prolonged stress and overwork. It’s often paired with a general loss of motivation, a sense of malaise, a quickened temper, and even disconnection from the things that used to bring you joy.
“Burnout occurs when we’re constantly stretched beyond our capacity, and we know that we can’t meet all of the demands on our time,” says Corrine Low, PhD, an associate professor at the University of Pennsylvania and author of “Having It All.” “We react with almost a survival mechanism of numbing ourselves to those pressures, of withdrawing from the experience of our lives. We feel exhausted, depleted, and disconnected.
The Pressure of Perfection
Anyone can experience burnout, but it’s especially common in perfectionists and those who strive to have it all together. High achievers put enormous pressure on themselves to do it all.
“They certainly have high expectations for themselves, and as they climb, there is often a fear of leveling out or falling back and an intense desire to keep pressing ahead, no matter the cost,” explains Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine.
She adds that they may feel a need to impress those around them and harbor deep insecurities about making a mistake or failing. This underlying fear can add to chronic stress levels.
“Much like a duck on a pond, they may appear serene and to have it together as they glide along on top, but underneath they are paddling their legs as fast as possible to stay afloat,” Dr. Saltz says. “They may work very hard to not show anyone how stressed they are, or how much they may need help.”
Signs of Burnout in High-Achievers
So what might burnout look like in a person who’s seemingly fine above the water, but treading fervently below?
- Feeling numb and exhausted
- Feeling like you’re “living to work”
- Sacrificing personal needs (sleep, hobbies, relationships, exercise)
- Struggling to keep up with a never-ending to-do list
- Doomscrolling in your off-time because it requires little energy
- Having an intense fear of failing or making a mistake
- Becoming more self-critical (negative self-talk, low self-esteem)
- Worrying about “backtracking” on your successes
- Over-identifying with your job or productivity
- Overcommitting even when you’re stretched thin
- Experiencing physical issues like headaches, backaches, and stomachaches
- Having trouble sleeping
- Feeling irritable
- Feeling negative, cynical, sad, or depressed
“For high achievers, instead of burnout manifesting as not delivering on something, we end up letting down ourselves,” Dr. Low says. “We do this by sacrificing our sleep, our joy, and our capacity for connection. When we’re so focused on making ends meet in our time budget, we cannot experience and enjoy life.”
How to Prevent and Manage Burnout
Recognizing that you might be dealing with perfectionist-related burnout is a huge step. When you feel ready for a change, here’s what you can do.
Make Leisure a Priority
First things first: you need a break. As hard as it might be to pull away from your work or your tasks or your family, you’ve got to sit back and rest.
“Pay yourself first with leisure time,” Dr. Low says. “If leisure is ‘leftover’ time, it will always be low quality—we’ll always be so depleted by the time we get there that we’ll end up just vegging.”
She says to block out some high-quality leisure time on your calendar just like you would an important meeting.
Reassess Your Work Load
Take stock of your workload, both at your job and in your personal or family life. Dr. Saltz recommends limiting after-hours work, taking a vacation, and talking to your boss about rearranging and offloading some of what’s on your plate.
In your family life, you might sit down with your partner and reallocate responsibilities. Even the smallest changes—like giving up on your wilting plant collection— can bring incredible relief.
Get Comfortable with Delegation
Next, ask yourself if there are any jobs you’re “hiring yourself for” that you should actually hire someone else for, Dr. Low says. This isn’t always economically feasible, but if it’s possible to rejig your budget, then consider doing so. Maybe that means hiring out landscapers for weekly yard work, having cleaners come once a month or so for a “deep clean,” or using a meal delivery service during your busiest weeks to take dinner off your plate (literally).
In your work life, consider delegating some tasks elsewhere. Your boss may be able to help you with this.
“Recognize that your job is not the purpose of your life, but rather a tool to earn money that can be used to purchase things that bring us stability, joy, and happiness. Realign your commitment to your job with the role it plays in the ultimate purpose of your life, and the values that are unique to you,” Dr. Lowe says.
Work With a Therapist
They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. Well, perfectionism isn’t solved in a day, either! And often, we need someone on the outside to help us pinpoint what’s going on, why we’re striving so hard, and how to make changes.
“If [your burnout] is severe, see a psychologist or psychiatrist for evaluation,” Dr. Saltz says. “In addition to offloading, you may need treatment, and you may need to work on your perfectionism.”
Bottom Line
Remember that no matter the achievement or accolades, your mental well-being matters most of all. Instead of a badge of honor, consider burnout a warning sign that you’ve got to disrupt the status quo and prioritize yourself with rest, support, and life balance.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Hill AP, Curran T. Multidimensional Perfectionism and Burnout: A Meta-Analysis. Pers Soc Psychol Rev. 2016;20(3):269-88. doi: 10.1177/1088868315596286
Tavella G, Hadzi-Pavlovic D, Parker G. Burnout: Redefining its key symptoms. Psych Res. 2021:302. Doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2021.114023
Suh H, Liou P-Y, Jeong J, et al. Perfectionism, prolonged stress reactivity, and depression: A two-wave cross-lagged analysis. Jour of Rat-Emot and Cog-Beh Ther. 2022. doi:10.1007/s10942-022-00483-x
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