Serious Eats editors love a good cooking project (in fact, we’ve published quite a few recipes for them over the years). But each of us has our own no-cook list, recipes we’ve decided just aren’t worth the time and effort to make from scratch at home. Read on for the recipe each editor has decided always to buy, never to make.
Being up for a multi-hour, or even multi-day cooking project is practically a job requirement for the editors at Serious Eats. Sure, we appreciate the quick-and-easy, minimal-ingredient recipes that get dinner on the table in a snap as much as the next weary and harried person, but cooking projects are where we get to nerd out, go deep, and really work the muscles of our craft.
After years of casual conversations with editors past and present, though, I’ve learned that almost everyone has a no-cook list: the recipes that they’ve determined just aren’t worth the hassle to make at home. Such no-cook lists are personal; there are no right or wrong answers here—what feels like a terrible effort-to-reward ratio for one may be another’s happy cooking place.
With that, here are the cooking projects and recipes our editors have sworn off once and for all. Read on to see if you agree, or if you think some of us should reconsider.
Croissants
I have never—not for a single minute—wanted to make croissants from scratch. I’ve laminated plenty of doughs (biscuits, pie crust, puff pastry), but croissants are where I tap out. The time and technique required, plus the near certainty my result won’t touch a halfway-decent bakery’s, earn this a lifetime pass. Croissants are a food I’ll always enjoy more when a specialist makes them. —Daniel Gritzer, editorial director
Italian Fried Stuffed Olives (Olive all’Ascolana)
Fried stuffed olives are my personal culinary hell. I used to prep them by the dozens in a restaurant kitchen—prying them open, stuffing them, dredging them (|nothing sticks to them, by the way), and deep-frying each slippery little marble. For what? A glorified bar snack that ruins your evening and your oil. A great olive doesn’t need all that nonsense—just eat it and move on. —Leah Colins, senior culinary editor
Deep-Fried Turkey (and a Lot of Other Deep-Fried Foods)
Can I deep-fry things? Yes. Have I deep-fried things? Also, yes. But even though I know how, I find deep-frying too scary and messy and odor-leaving to do often, as much as I love fried chicken, shrimp, oysters, potatoes… I’m not saying I’ll never deep-fry, but as long as I live in a studio apartment, turkey is most definitely not on my fry list. (If anyone wants to invite me over for deep-fried turkey, though, just let me know where and when.) —Megan O. Steintrager, associate editorial director
Croquembouche
Growing up, I loved flipping through a fancy cake cookbook my mom owned. I’ve forgotten the name of the book, but I can’t forget the croquembouche recipe. The photo was stunning: a glittering, shining tower of cream puffs with spun sugar. Whoever art-directed the photo shoot also got creative by adding sparklers to the background. It looked like a cake from Bilbo Baggins’s birthday. It also looked like something I would never, ever have the time, energy, or, frankly, the skill to make. Choux pastry? Crème légère? Spun sugar? Assembling it all into a golden spruce tree shape? I’ll just sit back and admire it from afar, thank you. —Grace Kelly, senior editor
Braised Beef Short Ribs
After much reflection, I have decided to remove braised beef short ribs from my at-home culinary repertoire. They’re too high-effort and low-yield, and I can never catch them when they’re that dreamy fork-tender texture (and not yet disintegrating). Plus, the Midwesterner in me knows I can get a really nice chuck roast for cheaper and make it (nearly) as good. That all said, I reserve the right to order them from every restaurant menu I find them on! —Ashlee Redger, writer
Duck Confit
Duck confit is delicious. But I haven’t made it once since culinary school. It takes forever (you have to cure it overnight, for starters), and both procuring and dealing with all that rendered duck fat is a total pain. I’ll admit: I have the time but not the patience to tackle this French classic. —Rochelle Bilow, editor
Ramen
Ramen is one of those dishes that asks for time and precision—each component prepared and refined on its own before coming together in the bowl. It’s a dish that rewards expertise and an understanding of its many nuanced styles, which is why I’d rather leave it to the experts who’ve spent years perfecting it. Luckily, New York has a few of them. —Laila Ibrahim, associate culinary editor
Turducken
Not going to lie: I have always wanted to make turducken. I’m intrigued. But after years of mulling on it, I think it’s finally time to accept that I will probably never make it. You have to debone a chicken and a small duck, roll them both within a turkey, then cook the whole shebang. I am simply not curious enough to find out what a real turducken tastes like. —Genevieve Yam, senior editor
