There may be a “standard” and “lazy” way to hold chopsticks—there are also many hybrid approaches. Still, as long as you can comfortably and effectively grip the food and are respectful of cultural traditions and others around you, there’s nothing wrong with holding the utensil however you prefer. Do what works for you—as long as you do so politely.
I can’t recall a time in my life when I didn’t know how to use chopsticks. I’m Chinese, and for as long as I can remember, they’ve been my go-to utensil for cooking, eating, and serving. As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed that people tend to hold their chopsticks differently, with many unsure of how to use the utensil effectively. Some try to use them like a fork and knife to separate large pieces of food, others stab their food with their chopsticks, and some even hook their fingers around each chopstick.
But is there a right or wrong way to hold chopsticks? The answer isn’t as straightforward as you think it may be. If you’ve ever felt self-conscious about your chopstick skills, you’re not alone—and you’ve come to the right place. Read on for the correct etiquette and tips on how to hold chopsticks so you aren’t dropping food left, right, and center.
Serious Eats / Amanda Suarez
The “Right Way” to Hold Chopsticks
Many people consider the “standard grip” the most proper way to hold chopsticks: You keep one chopstick between your pointer and middle finger, then prop up the other chopstick with your ring finger. The bottom chopstick remains stationary, and you move the chopstick on top to grip food. This method offers you the most control, allowing you to pick up small or slippery foods easily. It’s also the most ergonomic way to hold chopsticks, as it reduces strain on your fingers and wrist, making it the most comfortable way to pick up food.
Although the standard grip is often recommended as the best way to hold chopsticks, most people hold chopsticks the way their parents taught them, and there’s a lot of variation among people from chopstick-wielding cultures. Though my dad and I both use the standard grip, my mom and my sisters use what many Chinese people call the “lazy method,” which involves gripping the chopsticks like a pencil, causing them to criss-cross like scissors. While this method works for many people and there are plenty of folks who swear by it, it can make it harder to pick up small morsels of food, including grains of rice.
I spoke to several of my colleagues in our People Inc. Asian American Pacific Islander affinity group about whether there was a right or wrong way to hold chopsticks. Most people said no—they felt it was more a question of personal preference and what works best for the individual to eat without dropping food. “I like to think that the ‘right’ way of holding chopsticks provides a safer and cleaner way of eating,” says Chris Yong, a senior data engineer. “If you hold the chopsticks too low, you might get your hand dirty. If you hold them too high, you might strain your hand. If you cross the chopsticks, it might cause an awkward grip, and food might slip out.”
There’s really no right or wrong way to grip your chopsticks, and the way many people do so comes down to personal preference and how their families taught them. Where people often go wrong is in chopstick etiquette: how you arrange your chopsticks or use them.
Serious Eats / Amanda Suarez
It Comes Down to a Question of Etiquette
Even though they said there wasn’t a wrong way to hold chopsticks, both Yong and Jackie Napalan, a senior manager in product support operations, agree that etiquette matters. “I think the same rules should apply for Eastern culture as for Western culture,” Napalan says. Westerners have rules around how to hold a fork or set a table properly, so why shouldn’t the Easterners?” Our associate editor, Jess Eng, agrees. “Whatever way someone picks up their food is fine with me,” she says. “I only get squeamish when people put chopsticks into rice straight up.”
Ultimately, most people I polled agreed that it was important to be mindful of how you use chopsticks and to avoid common faux pas, such as sticking them upright in a bowl of rice—which resembles the burning incense provided as an offering to the deceased during Chinese funerals and the chopsticks that are presented to Korean families during cremation ceremonies for picking out the bones from ashes. Pointing with chopsticks and passing food with them are also no-nos. And, as tempting as it might be, try not to pretend to be a walrus by sticking chopsticks in the sides of your mouth to make “tusks.”
Serious Eats / Amanda Suarez
The Bottom Line
There may be a “standard” and “lazy” way to hold chopsticks—there are also many hybrid approaches. Still, as long as you can comfortably and effectively grip the food and are respectful of cultural traditions and others around you, there’s nothing wrong with holding the utensil however you prefer. Do what works for you—as long as you do so politely.