A strong friendship is usually treasured for its big, memorable moments: the dinners that stretch late, phone calls that last hours, or weekend trips meticulously planned months in advance. But these days, with unpredictable schedules and packed calendars, those experiences don’t happen as often as we’d like—which makes smaller, effortless hangouts all the more meaningful. Enter: the “errand friend.”
The term, which has been trending on TikTok, describes a special type of companion who you can tackle mundane items on your to-do list with—think folding laundry, hitting up Whole Foods, schlepping to the post office—while genuinely enjoying their company. The appeal is obvious: it’s low-pressure, sustainable, and way less expensive and time-consuming than a night out. And while that simplicity might make these relationships seem less significant or worthy on the surface, the truth is the opposite: an errand friend can provide a type of connection that’s incredibly powerful. Here’s how.
What are the benefits of an errand friend?
They remove pressure, so time together feels easy instead of stressful.
It’s rarely the case that you don’t want to see your friends—but carving out hours for a big, scheduled activity or reservation can sometimes feel more like an obligation than leisure.
New York-based psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, points out that “quality time doesn’t have to involve an hours-long special event or Instagram-worthy aesthetic.” “In truth,” she says, “a shared errand is a valid form of connection”—something we often overlook in a culture that prioritizes performative, status-signaling gestures meant to showcase your “closeness” online (like exciting vacations and fancy brunches).
The great thing about having an errand friend, however, is “they don’t require you to give a significant amount of energy, time, or money.” Instead, your bond thrives on meetups that are low-stakes and nonetheless genuine: a quick run to the store, a walk to drop off packages (and grab coffee together along the way), a drop-in at the laundromat.
They naturally build in accountability and consistency.
Lower stakes hangs, like a weekly FaceTime or routine Sunday walk, sound nice in theory. In practice, though, it’s way too easy to cancel when work deadlines add up or plain old exhaustion sets in.
So errand friendships enforce consistency by weaving quality time into the things you already have to do, like meal prepping, grocery hauls, or return drop-offs. Think about it: You’re way more likely to follow through on a must-do chore than a reservation or coffee date that’s technically optional. Put simply, “you’re taking out two birds with one stone,” Dr. Romanoff says—being productive while also swapping updates about whatever’s going on in each other’s worlds.
They deepen intimacy in unexpected ways.
Sure, you can enjoy pretty much anyone’s company at a picturesque rooftop bar or during a scenic weekend getaway. But it takes a certain kind of friend to make the mundane and monotonous (picking up a prescription, stopping by the bank) actually enjoyable.
“The depth of any relationship isn’t defined by hours spent together or the amount of money invested,” Dr. Romanoff says. “Instead, our most valued relationships tend to be measured through how they make us feel”—and when you’re comfortable enough to cherish the sweatpants, messy-haired moments of everyday life? That ease and flexibility, Dr. Romanoff says, is a much stronger indicator of your friendship’s staying power than any high-maintenance elaborate “highlight reel.”
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