Key Takeaways
- Post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS) is trauma from relationships where abuse occurred.
- Symptoms of PTRS include feeling unsafe, flashbacks, and anxiety.
- Therapy and emotional coping strategies help manage PTRS symptoms.
Also called relationship PTSD, post traumatic relationship syndrome (with the acronym PTRS) is the occurrence of being impacted by the trauma of a relationship. It differs from standard PTSD in that PTRS happens exclusively in relationships over a series of events.
PTRS can occur in relationships or after the relationship has ended, and abuse can place at any time, even if it’s not frequent or chronic.
For example, a breakup in which a partner who has not previously behaved harmfully but acts in a manner that is emotionally, verbally, sexually, or physically abusive during the breakup, can cause PTRS. Though it is not a formal mental health diagnosis, research on the subject identifies it as a real disorder.
It’s important to note that people sometimes joke about a relationship having given them PTSD. Though some relationships or partners may be unhealthy, PTRS refers to a relationship in which abuse occurred. Joking about getting PTSD from an unpleasant breakup or bad relationship may be harmful to those with actual PTRS, while also creating further stigma that makes it difficult for people to recognize abuse, speak up, and ask for help.
PTRS vs PTSD: Understanding the Difference
PTRS, considered a subset of PTSD, shares some fundamental similarities with PTSD. Both conditions involve experiencing trauma that leaves you in a state of hyper-vigilance, restlessness, and persistent distress.
Traumatic events often take time to process and may require professional support. People commonly experience intrusive thoughts and mood instability during their healing. While PTSD and PTRS share these aspects, there are key differences:
- PTSD usually stems from a single traumatic event, whereas PTRS involves a series of events.
- PTRS occurs exclusively in relationship contexts.
- Numbing symptoms found in PTSD are not typically present in PTRS.
- People with PTSD often use avoidance strategies, avoiding thoughts, feelings, and situations linked to their trauma.
- Conversely, research suggests people with PTRS are more likely to confront and address their trauma source rather than avoid new relationships.
The History of PTRS
Though post-traumatic stress disorder is a formal diagnosis, post traumatic relationship syndrome is not. It’s considered by experts to be a very specific version of PTSD, and it has been studied for about twenty years now. When a person presents with PTRS, they are generally diagnosed by a mental health professional with PTSD, because that is the formal diagnosis listed in the Diagnostic Manual.
Mental health professionals believe that for PTRS to occur, abuse has to have taken place in a relational context, the abuse could have taken place throughout the relationship, or at any point during the relationship or breakup.
A person may realize they have PTRS after their breakup, when they find themselves unable to “get over” the relationship, have a hard time forging new romantic connections, or experience symptoms that seem like PTSD.
Symptoms of Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome
These are some of the most common PTRS symptoms:
- Sexual dysfunction or lower libido
- Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
- Blaming yourself for the abuse
- Feeling generally unsafe
- Anxiety and/or panic attacks
- Feeling on edge or irritable
- Distrust of other people
- Sadness or depression
- Flashbacks to traumatic events in the relationship
- Uncontrollable anger towards the abuser
- Fear of future abuse
How to Get Help for PTRS
Help is available for PTRS, just as with any mental health issue. While some people may learn to manage it on their own, therapy with a trauma-trained professional is highly encouraged. This type of therapy can help you process the traumatic events. If your symptoms are severe and interfere with daily life, consider seeing a psychiatrist for additional support.
Therapy
Though any type of therapy can be helpful for a person who has gone through a traumatic relationship, the best choice you can make in looking for help to recover from PTRS is to work with someone who understands trauma and relationships. This means that a trauma therapist is a good choice, especially if they also specialize in relationships. Somatic therapies like EMDR, somatic experiencing, IFS, sensorimotor psychotherapy, and EFT are some of the modalities that may be employed.
If you can’t find a trauma-informed therapist, you can work with a relationship therapist if symptoms are mild. They should also be able to help you employ strategies to move past the trauma of your relationship, though they may not have as strong an understanding about the symptoms you’re experiencing.
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Psychotropic Medication
For those who are struggling with symptoms of PTRS, visiting a PCP or psychiatrist for symptom management can be beneficial.
Emotion-Focused Coping
Emotion-focused coping strategies can reduce stress and help you feel better by lowering your emotional response to your stressors—in this case, thoughts, feelings, and reminders of a traumatic relationship. These are some strategies to help you manage symptoms of PTRS:
- Journaling
- Mindfulness meditation
- Forgiveness
- Sharing with others
- Radical acceptance
- Movement/physical activity
- Working on nervous system regulation (grounding exercises, etc)
- Bibliotherapy: reading books that help you understand/manage symptoms
Moving on
If you’re in the throes of PTRS, it may seem impossible to believe that you’ll ever have a healthy relationship again. But people tend to feel more hopeful after processing trauma and managing symptoms.
There is no specific timeline for recovery from PTRS but most people report improvement in symptoms between six months and a year after receiving the right support. Although recovering from trauma is challenging, most people report higher satisfaction when they treat their symptoms. The work may be tough, but it’s worthwhile, and it will set you up to be in more positive and healthy relationships in the future.
If you are currently in an abusive relationship, help is available for you. One option is to contact the Domestic Violence Support Line, where you can communicate with an advocate via call, live chat, or text. They will help you talk through your current situation, and can work with you on creating a plan to get you out of it.
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