Key Takeaways
- Antidepressants can cause side effects like emotional blunting and sexual dysfunction.
- These side effects can put stress on relationships but often get better over time.
- Communicating with your partner and doctor can help manage these challenges.
Major depression is a mental health condition that impacts many, with 8.3% of all U.S. adults experiencing at least one major depressive episode in their lifetime. Depression can affect your life in many ways, including your relationships. Keeping this in mind, it isn’t uncommon to be in a relationship where either you or your partner are on antidepressants.
While antidepressants can lead to many gains in overall well-being, they can present some hardships in romantic relationships. The good news is that many antidepressant side effects are temporary or gradually less the longer you take your medication.
If you are concerned about how your antidepressant might be affecting your connection with your partner, talk to your doctor about the side effects that are concerning you. Also, communicate with your partner so you can navigate these challenges with understanding and empathy.
Is My Antidepressant Ruining My Relationship?
The short answer is that, yes, antidepressants *can* impact relationships. However, that doesn’t mean your depression treatment needs to undermine your connection with your partner.
To understand exactly how antidepressants might affect your relationship (and how you can deal with those effects), it’s essential to first explore what antidepressants are and why they are used.
There are several types of antidepressants:
Every antidepressant has the goal of decreasing depressive symptoms, but each one can have a different effect on how you relate to others and could have side effects that impact your relationships more severely.
The most commonly prescribed class of antidepressants is SSRIs. These include Celexa (citalopram), Lexapro (escitalopram), Paxil, Paxil CR, Pexeva (paroxetine), Prozac (fluoxetine), Trintellix (vortioxetine), Viibryd (vilazodone), and Zoloft (sertraline). They work by increasing the amount of serotonin produced in our brains. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that regulates our behavior, mood, and memory.
While SSRIs have great benefits, they aren’t without their side effects. Emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, trouble sleeping, gaining or losing weight, anxiety, dizziness, headache, and stomach issues are all common side effects. Any of these side effects could negatively impact a relationship, but emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, and physical changes can be the greatest stressors.
And while SSRIs are the most common culprit. Other antidepressants can cause very similar side effects.
How Antidepressants Might Affect Emotional Intimacy
Emotional blunting is a general sense of apathy or indifference, with researchers interchangeably referring to emotional blunting as apathy. This can lead to challenges in expressing deep emotions or feeling connected to others.
For example, someone may express indifference at a major event, like their partner receiving a promotion or experiencing a death in the family. What may seem cold is actually a physical response to the medication they are taking. Emotional blunting is caused by the dysfunction of the frontal lobe due to changes in serotonin levels.
Emotional blunting isn’t the same as feeling depressed and doesn’t necessarily mean someone lacks care for others. Instead, it is a decreased emotional expression. Over time, emotional blunting can create a lack of emotional intimacy in relationships.
The partner that isn’t taking medication may feel abandoned or overlooked due to their partner’s behavior, while the partner that is taking medication may feel frustrated by the side effects they are experiencing.
Antidepressants Can Lead to Diminished Sex Drive
SSRIs may cause sexual dysfunction, which typically presents as a decreased sex drive, delayed ejaculation, inability to have an orgasm, and an overall lack of sexual satisfaction.
When serotonin is increased by an SSRI or other means, other essential hormones and neurotransmitters can be impacted. Specifically, testosterone and dopamine.
Testosterone is responsible for our sex drive and sexual satisfaction, while dopamine is in charge of orgasms. With both this hormone and neurotransmitter impacted, sexual dysfunction follows.
Sexual dysfunction can lead the partner who isn’t on medication to feel rejected or undesirable. Additionally, it can frustrate the partner who is on medication. They may feel challenged by their sex life changing or even guilty for how it is impacting the relationship.
It’s important to remember that low libido can also be associated with depression. While antidepressants might affect your sex drive, especially when you first start taking them, treating your depression may eventually improve your desire for physical intimacy with your partner.
Antidepressants Can Cause Physical Changes
Another issue that may challenge a relationship is the physical changes that come along with SSRIs.
Since weight changes are a common side effect, the partner on medication may begin to feel self-conscious or uncomfortable in their body. Recurring issues with sleep, headaches, and stomach problems can also lead to general discomfort.
These physical changes might lead the partner on medication to withdraw or be unable to connect emotionally and physically.
Ways Antidepressants Can *Help* Relationships
While antidepressants might negatively impact relationships, they can also improve them. Don’t let fear of side effects influence your decision to get help for your depression.
A decrease in depressive symptoms may lead to less strain on the relationship. As a result, each partner may feel more satisfied with their daily dynamic.
Even emotional blunting can be helpful in some cases. If a relationship is prone to volatile arguments, this side effect can actually decrease the intensity of an anger response, leading to decreased conflict.
How Partners Can Support Each Other
Talk to your healthcare provider before you decide what’s right for you. The benefits of antidepressants may outweigh the risks for many. Keeping this in mind, it is critical to remember that there are ways to enjoy the benefits of antidepressants, even in the midst of some undesirable side effects.
It will require work on each partner’s part, but you can find ways to manage the side effects and their impact on your relationship.
If You’re the Partner Who Isn’t Taking Antidepressants
First, let’s explore how the partner who isn’t on medication can support their partner who is on medication.
Some strategies that can help include:
- Continuing to educate yourself about how antidepressants can impact someone,
- Learning more about how long side effects last
- Finding out more about the benefits of antidepressants
Armed with this knowledge, you are likely to be able to offer emotional support and take note of any concerns you see arising that may be related to side effects. Ensuring you’re nonjudgmental and never pressure your partner into activities they aren’t up for is key.
If You’re the Partner Taking Antidepressants
If you’re taking antidepressants, remember that there are things you can do to help your partner as well. You can be of great support to the person who isn’t taking medication.
While it may be challenging to navigate the side effects of antidepressants, considering how the side effects may impact your partner can be key. Communicating about how the side effects might impact the relationship is a great way to continue to develop emotional intimacy.
Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is important for both partners. Attending therapy, both together and separately, can support each of you in having a safe space to process your feelings and learn tools to communicate even the most challenging of feedback.
A support group may also prove helpful for both of you. Your partner who isn’t on medication may feel alone, and hearing from other significant others who are experiencing the same challenges can be very healing.
And if you are the one on antidepressant medication, you might be grieving the person you were before antidepressants. Having a community of others navigating similar paths can be a source of support and comfort.
