The holiday season is meant to be about cheer and togetherness—at least that’s the idea. In practice, all of the gifts, travel plans, and family reunions you look forward to can also be the very things that make the stretch between Thanksgiving and New Year’s so overwhelmingly chaotic.
Even the most festive people can feel weighed down this time of year, and there are plenty of reasons why—the financial strain from buying presents; the social pressure of interacting with coworkers, friends, family; and the endless to-dos that make the holidays magical. On top of that, this season can be a painful reminder of the people we’ve lost or grown apart from—and for anyone traveling home, it can mean being thrust back into old identities and dynamics we thought we’d left behind.
While it’s totally normal to feel exhausted and anxious, the good news is that there are ways to get ahead of it and take care of your mental health. Here are a few expert-recommended strategies to guarantee a less stressful, more enjoyable holiday season.
1. Lower your perfectionist expectations.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea of the perfect holiday celebration. But you don’t need to buy everyone the “best” or most expensive gift, decorate every last inch of your house, or bake an Instagram-bait pumpkin pie to have a memorable time.
Things can and will go wrong, no matter how seasoned a holiday host you may be. So instead of being quick to judge your shortcomings or spiraling over minor inconveniences, “give yourself the grace to not have everything be perfect,” Catherine Mogil, PsyD, a psychologist and associate clinical professor at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, tells SELF.
A bit of self-compassion can go a long way: Not only can it make us more resilient in times of stress and more optimistic about perceived failures, but it can also provide the much-needed perspective shift to help you focus way less on what goes wrong and more on the positives—like how incredible it is to finally be reunited with friends and family again even though your flight got delayed, or, perhaps, how ridiculously fun it was to bake cornbread with your cousin, even if it tasted like dirt.
2. Maintain some of your routines.
Humans thrive off of routines. Consistent, healthy habits—like regularly eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep—combat stress, improve our mental health, and make our lives feel more meaningful, research suggests. During the holidays, however, you’re probably eating and drinking more than you usually do, which can throw off your biological clock (a.k.a. sleep-wake cycle), and all sorts of other vital body functions.
